Coping Technique 6 (Beware, don’t let your parents see this!)

Greetings Humanity!

As you can probably tell from how late this post is, I slept in (until 2pm, just like any teenager during the weekend, haha 🙂 ) and completely forgot about my commitment to 7 tips in 7 days. So here I am at half past nine at night hurriedly typing this whilst avoiding getting caught…

This one’s gonna be a very weird one, so please don’t judge me too harshly.


Probably the last thing you would expect from a Christian teenaged girl, but there you have it. I’m unashamedly going to admit that this is a technique that is tried and true, and should be given a go by all of you – all gender identities.

Now I understand completely that this is a very hush-hush topic, no one wants to admit to their friends that they have done it (unless its guys competing about who got a boner the quickest – is that just New Zealand?) especially not females. It’s seen by society as gross and disturbing, but remember that general stereotypical society also believes that all teenagers are having sex before they’re twenty. Society is wrong in a lot of ways, and this view is also really stupid. So having sex with someone else is OK – even expected! – but having a sexual release with only yourself is bad? C’mon!

Both guys and girls can masturbate and orgasm on their own, with no one getting pregnant or STI’s transferred or such in the process. Orgasming is a brilliant stress beater, mood balancer, is heaps of fun and also really beneficial. There are no side effects when correctly engaged in, maybe wobbly knees for a bit if you had a really good time but that’s all. If you don’t know how to masturbate (assuming you haven’t already tried) then search it up on google, no matter what your anatomy! If you’re a little shy, which honestly is no problem, use an incognito tab to research it.

Masturbation is a completely safe and normal way the body releases it’s built up sexual tension, tension that causes stress, bad moods, irritability, pimples (!) and loss of focus. And yes, female bodies do do it, it takes a little practice to get to climax but we can do it all the same.

Now I never ever thought until now that I would ever give out sexual advice on my blog – after all I’m a virgin and have never even kissed a guy – but tonight I’m gonna switch up my tune. When you need to masturbate – male or female biologically – the first big issue is privacy. I don’t know about you, but I live in a family of six and with parents constantly crashing into my room at all hours trying to catch me at something I shouldn’t be doing, privacy is one of the hardest things to get. Considering that this technique takes time to complete, not getting caught under the sheets naked by a parent is top priority. The solution is simple:

A shower. No matter what your anatomy, you will always be naked in a shower and as a teenager even the most invasive of parents will allow you to shower without interruption. This is the best place to practice and climax, as any fluid produced is washed away with the water and if you do get interrupted, your hand(s) can move to your leg and you can claim to be washing yourself down. If you can masturbate without any loud moans or grunts, this should do the trick.

Home Alone. Wait until your parents/flatmate/other human(s) are out of the house for a few hours and go for it. You can make all the mess and noise you like without someone knowing exactly what you are up to. Just ensure you allow enough time for clean up and sorting out the house before they get back.

Of course, if you have someone you can and do sleep with, you can just have plain old sex to relieve yourself. But masturbation ensures you an orgasm and no judgement from anyone but yourself for your performance, and you can indulge in any fantasy you might have in peace. No one is going to know and tell if you pick your timings right.

Unlike my other tips, this one takes a lot of practice and isn’t as easily timeable as other activities, but it is very effective. If you have any trouble with this remember everyone is different and problems you have will almost undoubtedly be shared by someone else, for example 1/3 women find it difficult to climax.

If you aren’t comfortable with this tip it’s fine! I admit it’s one of the oddest and least well-known stress beaters and I was quite surprised at the amount of information advocating its use from medical professionals as well. You do you how you do you, and if you don’t want to try this it is completely fine.

Please don’t hate me for suggesting this, it is called The Insanity Diaries after all!

Love you all
Insanity Diaries xox


2 thoughts on “Coping Technique 6 (Beware, don’t let your parents see this!)

  1. Thank you for having the guts to write this. The taboo is strong but the sex drive is stronger, which can only lead to shame. From a Christian point of view, we do have to control our urges, but that doesn’t mean relief is out of bounds. It just can’t be an idol or a distraction.


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